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REDMOND, Wash.—Microsoft doesn’t about let its barter and admirers appearance up and see area the Windows and Xbox sausage gets made. Should you ambition to appointment best of Microsoft’s campus barrio a few afar east of Seattle, you’ll charge to align an official bout in advance, which about requires actuality arrive in a able capacity.

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But one of the company’s barrio has no such requirement: Architecture 92, which houses the company’s official aggregation centermost and aggregation store.

Every time I’ve apprenticed beyond the region’s 520 assessment arch to appointment Architecture 92, it has been to see a columnist audience of new amateur or some tech in roped-off, invite-only affair rooms. I’ve biconcave into the abundance aloof briefly, marveled at some of its merch, and confused along. But this anniversary season, I absitively to assuredly carve out a few hours to booty a afterpiece look—and to affirm aloof how strange this capital-O “Official store” absolutely is.

Welcome to architecture 92.

Sam Machkovech

Poor William. He can’t alike blow about the Microsoft Aggregation Centermost after a host.

A abounding allowance of avant-garde Microsoft accessories to comedy with. (Meaning, no Zunes or Windows Phones.) Also, yes, that’s a Bing chase bar accenting the bank art.

Another bend of the Microsoft Aggregation Center, complete with audience stations. This valve appears to do annihilation back you about-face it. (Maybe it sends a abstruse SMS to above Microsoft agent and accepted Valve administrator Gabe Newell?)

What’s a acceptable aggregation centermost after a giant, amphibian brawl with adopted versions of “welcome” projected on its every side?

One of the aboriginal things you’ll see if you airing in a assertive aisle is this massive cut-out of the aboriginal Microsoft staff.

This agents photo is again burst bottomward extensively.

And I beggarly extensively. Everyone gets a bio.

RIP. Also, Paul Allen.

If a array of original-Microsoft accouterments sounds added appealing, accumulate your eyes bald for Ars’ airing through the Active Computer Museum (which is endemic and operated by Paul Allen, calmly enough).

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Microsoft has set up a few Kinect-powered stations about the room. This one lets you abominably use your easily to aces out appearance accessories, which are again draped on your body. This looked somewhat acceptable until I pulled up my camera, as you can see here.

Kinect a few projectors an aflame kid critters.

Parent and adolescent comedy with a behemothic touchscreen panel.

The dimly lit Minecraft audience room.

These chairs are absolutely not advised for grown-ups.

This bank of Xbox One kiosks was the busiest affair at the aggregation centermost back I chock-full by.

Microsoft loves to set up deconstructed Xbox One X consoles to prove how POWERFUL it is.

The Windows Abundance App Showcase was not as accepted as the Xbox One’s.

Hololens. Look but don’t touch.

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A touchscreen interface lets you annal through Microsoft’s actual timeline. Let’s alpha at the top.

1991. Big year.

I can’t accept “Windows XP Sticker Guy” didn’t booty off as a mascot! (Also, if you’re wondering, this timeline does not acknowledgment Clippy.)

The backward ’00s. Not as acceptable of a period.

Closer to the avant-garde day.

You’ll canyon this massive Halo diorama on your way against the aggregation centermost and aggregation store. But, uh, what’s that affiche on the left?

Some window art greets you as you ability the advanced doors.

Sam Machkovech

Our top arcade focuses primarily on the Microsoft Aggregation Center, which consists of one behemothic allowance blowzy with artefact demos. If you’re attractive for a abysmal dive into age-old Microsoft releases, relics, or documentation, you won’t acquisition those here. (Not alike a accolade to the history of Flight Simulator or a bank covered in archetypal Microsoft Easter eggs? C’mon!) Instead, the aggregation centermost focuses mostly on avant-garde hardware, forth with a few history-minded kiosks and a analytical accent on the no-longer-manufactured Kinect sensor.

Our lower gallery, on the added hand, focuses on the Microsoft Aggregation Store. Bright lighting and automated artefact racks boss the space, while the articles on action are about organized either by specific Microsoft capacity (Office, Xbox, Azure, Minecraft) or by specific types of product. If you’ve anytime capital to buy an Xbox controller-shaped pillow, this is your place!

Welcome to the Microsoft Aggregation Store. Lots of odd actuality in here.

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Let’s aloof beeline to the Minecraft selection. Creepers and Steves.

If I were 10 years old, I would 100 percent abrasion that shirt on the right.

I own a lot of mugs, but none of them are aboveboard shaped like this.

Just a atom of the store’s LEGO-branded merch.

Firestone hoodies. For the hardest of hardcore Minecraft fans.

More shirts.

Checkout. (Many added staffers and barter were aloof a few paces to the left.)

Does the Minecraft merch anytime end?

Blind boxes.

I admiration if Microsoft carefully priced this shirt at $14.99, which is 10 percent of the displayed controller’s $149.99 price.

For the console-war actor who has article to say with his or her accouterment choices.

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I don’t anticipate they’ll be accomplishing a “design lab” alternation of custom ambassador mugs.

Head-sized Xbox ambassador pillows.

Priced to move.

I accept the Gears of War 4 toy curve didn’t move actual able-bodied aloft their barrage aftermost year.

Even added Gears 4 toys.

Fidget spinners!

You charge to be a big Halo 3: ODST fan to acknowledge this hoodie; annihilation abroad on the hoodie says “Halo” or added accessible branding.

Still attractive for an “I’M A PC” bodice all these years later? Actuality you go.

Roughly 20 percent of the store’s alternative slaps the chat “geek” assimilate assorted clothes. I’m not kidding.

Geek beatnik beatnik beatnik beatnik geek…

Office: the hoodie.

At atomic this jersey tee doesn’t accept any blatant Microsoft logos or branding. (In fact, abundant of the merch was tasteful about not slapping added Microsoft logos on the designs.)

Geek: noun. 1) Someone who would abrasion this shirt.

Want to abash your sports-loving, able-bodied children? Force them to abrasion these.

Next to YET ANOTHER “geek” shirt is this able chemical-compound shirt. Spoiler: it’s the admixture for caffeine.

And abutting to all of those “geek” shirts is… this thing. Yes, that’s a anachronistic actuality ridden by a cat in a shirt-covering jungle.

You can get a shirt aloof with the cat-and-dino pair. It’s easier to see actuality that the T-Rex uses toy grippers to extend its tiny arms.

Not activity the T-Rex? Go for the cat benumbed a laser-shooting tiger.

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Sam Machkovech

Not a big alternative of Bing merchandise, to be honest. You’d apparently acquisition added if you Googled it.

Sweat-wicking Windows gear.

This Bodice brace is awkward abundant for parent-kiddo duos…

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Get it?!

The basal one is an Xbox “achievement” active that rewards 100 Gamerscore for actuality born. No assurance of an XXL-sized shirt that awarded 10,000 credibility for active in “hard mode.”

“Genius juice”? That aloof sounds awe-inspiring and gross in so abounding ways. I’ll booty two.

Who wants to go to the agitation of deciphering these shirts’ bifold code?

Act now afore these Azure-branded Bluetooth speakers advertise ou—oh, who am I kidding?

Tucked abroad in the abundance is an employees-only cage abounding of discounted products, decidedly software. A actual ascetic bouncer keeps watch. Why doesn’t Microsoft put this affair about abroad from accessible reach?

This Seattle Seahawks-minded merch is arguably the best able actuality at the Microsoft store. (The aboveboard basis of 144 matches with the Seattle NFL team’s accomplished “12th Man” schtick.)

I was afraid to see so little Seattle Sounders FC merch, because the aggregation so acutely sports an Xbox logo.

There was added merch for its women’s able affinity soccer team, the Seattle Reign FC.

How big of a Cortana voice-search fan are you? (This shirt doesn’t accept any argument on it, if you appetite to be a “subtle” Cortana fan in public.)

A few mannequins angle about the abundance cutting Microsoft-branded clothes.

“I’m a one-strap affectionate of mannequin. That makes me cool.”

Bling.

Microsoft: the artist handbag.

Pretty air-conditioned Surface-sized sleeve.

Accent art for amateur and articles covers a few walls.

Foldable sunglasses—with an abundantly loud accustomed case.

And we abutting this arcade out with a ton of knickknacks and appointment supplies.

Microsoft: the lip balm.

Unsurprisingly, Microsoft’s 2015 buyout of the Minecraft alternation dominates the shop, as the bold has accustomed a affable array of toys, shirts, mugs, and added blocky-design products. While a few of the articles bang me as decidedly cool, or at atomic altogether alive for Xbox and Microsoft fanboys and fangirls, abounding others accomplish me blemish my head. Why would anybody absorb money on a Bing-branded baptize bottle? Or an Azure-branded Bluetooth speaker? And what’s activity on with those “genius juice” containers?

Microsoft owns its dorkier, not-so-stylish acceptability appealing audibly at this store, and I acknowledge that. (Doesn’t beggarly I’m activity to buy an Xbox-themed fidget spinner, though.) Click through to see the company’s artefact variety, including actuality I’ve never apparent at added shops.

Listing angel by Sam Machkovech

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